Let's Set The Table

It’s now Fall (lifts hands and begins to praise God) and some of what should be the most family-filled holidays are quickly approaching. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a deep passion for the kitchen and serving people, so when I think about the holidays, I often think about setting the table. What we bring to the table, (decor, food, plates, etc.) attracts people to what we’re serving. In the same way, we must watch what we bring to the table in our relationships.

I was talking to my mother-in-law a little while ago about the menu for Thanksgiving and The Lord began to speak to me about setting the table, funny enough, He wasn’t talking about food. I had been thinking about what I was going to write on for the month of October, but I knew I would rather wait to hear from God to speak to me, than just write something out of my own thoughts, feelings, and imagination. Bit by bit, the Lord brought my focus and attention to my relationship with my husband. It seemed like every other day I was noticing something about him that I didn’t necessarily like about him, or an area he lacked in that I thought he should have been strengthened by now. (Can I be transparent with you ladies?)

It was if I was looking for the negative things in him instead of lifting him up and encouraging him to be the man God has called him to be.

I found myself becoming frustrated, and one day I lost it. Up until that point I had only been THINKING (If you’re thinking negatively, STOP! Our thoughts get us in way more trouble than we like to believe. If we dwell on something long enough, it becomes action.) about those things in which my husband lacked, but when I actually said it, the results were much worse. By then, I was angry and he felt it when I spoke to him, and instead of lifting him up, I discouraged him, and I hurt him. I needed to fix the situation, but I was the one who caused the situation in the first place. I knew that only God could help me.

I began praying about it and God, like the amazing Father that He is, began to show me how HE would fix the situation, and bring healing to me, my husband, and our marriage. In a vision, he showed me a table of food that I had prepared. While some of the items on the table looked mouth watering, there were some that I knew I would pass up if I were looking to fix a plate. As soon as I came across something less appetizing, it was almost as if I could hear the Lord say, “Yep, that’s your attitude!,” or “That’s your self-discipline you brought to the table.” (Can I just say OUCH!!) There were a whole bunch of other things I had served that were not appealing, but for the sake of time, I won’t list them. (Feel free to ask)

You see, the Lord began to show me that I can’t demand that my husband brings his best to the table of our relationship if I didn’t bring excellence myself. I think Matthew 7:3-5 said it best:

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend,‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye."

I realized he brought to the table what I had been bringing to the table and that I really needed the Lord to fix what I had been bringing to our relationship, and PRAY that God helps my husband to do the same. But that’s US, as human beings. We see everything someone does wrong in our friendships, relationships, and marriages but we don’t see the junk and filth we put on the table ourselves. How hypocritical of us! I now ask God to help me DAILY become the woman he has called me to be. I pray the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) over myself, my husband, and those close to us. I also pray that the Lord helps me to be like the woman he described in Proverbs 31. So as we continue about or busy lives and relationships and move closer to the holiday season, let us all remember to set the table for others the way we would want them to set it for us.

-Cali